HOW SHE USED THE SKILLS

  • Meghan was passed over for inclusion onto an influential leadership team. She felt she could add tremendous value to the team and was confused why she wasn’t invited. Instead of silently fuming about it, as she would have done in the past, Meghan learned how to ask what the selection criteria was and how to tell her boss that she was interested in being included.
  • Gen was the only woman in her department and constantly being called, “honey” and “sweetheart.” She felt that if she spoke up, she’d be labeled the “b” word or worse, so she went home mad every day instead of speaking up. Gen learned how to change that dynamic. She learned what to say and how to say it so that she can ask for what she wants without being labeled negatively.
  • Paula had fallen into the common habit of apologizing for everything at work. When a colleague asked her even a simple question, “Paula, what are you doing for this project?” she immediately went into apologizing mode, assuming that the colleague was asking because she had done something wrong, “I’m sorry, are you waiting for me to finish that?” She didn’t know why she did it or how to stop herself. She learned that apologizing was giving away her power and that powerless people are more likely to be scorned, creating a negative cycle. She learned how to reclaim her power and to replace apologies with clarifying questions.
  • Kim was negotiating for a big new job. She had a sense of what she wanted but didn’t know how to structure her conversation to get it. Kim learned how to get clear about what she wanted and then how to uncover what’s important to the other person. She also learned how to clearly talk about why she was the best person for the job and she did it in a way that appealed directly to the person she was negotiating with.

IN HER WORDS…HOW CONNECTOR CONVERSATIONS HELPED 

“I WAS ABLE TO GET CLEAR.” 

Kim W., CEO

I was trying to form a professional relationship with someone whose communication style was so different from my own that we were talking around each other rather than with each other. The relationship was so frustrating that I planned to turn down an otherwise incredible opportunity with the company to avoid having to work with this man.

Once I learned the visual model from Connector Conversations, I was able to clearly say what was so troubling about our communications and get clear about what I wanted to make the relationship work. The purposeful, meaningful alliteration in the model makes it easy to remember and easy to use as a guide. I have it in my head all the time now!
I was able to change the difficult relationship into one that works well enough for me to take that great opportunity that I would have otherwise turned down. It’s not perfect, but it was enough that he understands the problem and is willing to try.
– Kim W., CEO

 

“I CHANGED MY MIND-SET” 

Annette L., Executive Assistant, Asset Management

Melissa gave me the confidence and support I needed at the right moment. She gave me a mantra: ‘my perfect job is waiting for me’ and it was! I have been happily employed for over 2 months now in a job I love!
Speaking to Melissa changed my mind-set to attract the perfect opportunity for ME.
– Annette L., Executive Assistant, Asset Management


 

 

 

“I INCREASED MY CONFIDENCE” 

Paula M., third grade teacher

I had developed the habit of assuming what others wanted to hear and apologizing unnecessarily. Working with Melissa helped me to see how my over-apologizing was giving away my power and that I needed to not allow my fear of upsetting others to motivate me.
Now I remind myself to be mindful of my choices, and feel confident in what I am doing, without assuming where other people are coming from.
I learned to be curious, to ask rather than to jump to conclusions.
The roleplaying that we did was incredibly helpful as it prepared me for a challenging conversation with a colleague.
Working with Melissa increased my confidence and equipped me with strong communication skills to be more successful at work.
– Paula M., third grade teacher


“GAVE ME THE CONFIDENCE I NEEDED”
Genevieve Malone, The Inertia Project 

Melissa helped me realize that the gender bias in my corporate job wasn’t just ME being overly sensitive, and I wasn’t crazy for noticing the differences.

Talking with Melissa increased my confidence because I wasn’t second guessing, it was just a fact.
That clarity helped me move past it and just accept it as something to be aware of, while also deepening my conviction that another job would suit me better because I wouldn’t feel as confined in my communication.
Melissa gave me the confidence to make a big move toward my dream, to focus on my own business (www.theinertiaproject.org).
– Genevieve Malone, The Inertia Project

 


“HELPED ME PLAN FOR WHAT’S NEXT”

Lisha Driscoll, Program Manager

I was certain that I was ready for what was next in my work but I did not know exactly what that was. I had 8-years and a positive relationship with my boss that I wanted to keep whole as I was thinking about leaving.
Melissa helped me think through how to position that change with my boss so that she perceived my intention to move on as positive and I was able to keep that long term relationship intact.
Going into the conversation, I knew what the outcome was that I wanted but I needed to be purposeful in my approach and Melissa’s thoughtful questions and actively listening helped me get there.”

Lisha Driscoll, Program Manager, Wealth Management Technology


“I GOT CURIOUS INSTEAD OF CAVING IN” 

Ruth D., Content Editor

Using the skills you taught me worked so well, and so easily, that it was almost unbelievable.

A long-standing client of mine asked me to change a certain way I communicated. Instead of getting defensive, or immediately caving in to their demands (a habit I’ve always had!), I followed what you taught me, took a deep breath, and got CURIOUS. I asked a question instead.
In the end my client told me, “Keep doing what you’ve always done!”
I am so grateful for the simplicity and efficacy of what you taught me; it’s made it possible for me to maintain my editorial (and personal!) integrity with this client, and empowered me to continue to use what you teach with my other clients. My next step is to ask my biggest client for a project increase: stay tuned!

– Ruth D., Content Editor at Walmart eCommerce


SPEAKER TESTIMONIALS 

 

When Melissa presented recently at the VenturePad, it was obvious she had years of expertise training on the topic of negotiations. At the same time, the insights and tools she shared were fresh and easy to pick up. It was fun, engaging, and I’ve already used her approach to successfully navigate my toughest collaborative partnerships.

Michael Giotis, Program Director, VenturePad

 


Melissa is a dynamic, engaging and authentic speaker with the unique ability to: deliver valuable content, experiential activities and immediately actionable insights; mirror back/clarify what she hears to engage everyone in the conversation, and keep a group focused while allowing space for organic fun and laughter to develop.
Melissa is dependable and a consummate professional — a tremendously valuable speaker and facilitator.
– Wendy B., Principal Consultant, Corporate Visions, Inc.