How to be seen as confident, even when you don’t feel it

You don’t have to feel confident in order for other people to see you as confident. 

You can feel nervous on the inside and still project confidence.

Here are some ideas to get you started: 

Your body – Stand up straight, as if you have a string pulling you up from the bottom of your feet through the top of your head. Shoulders back. Feet flat and legs spaced hip width apart. Arms loose at your side, not crossed. Relax your shoulders and open your chest. Take a deep breath. 

Your mind – if you’re meeting with someone who has more power than you, think about what value you’re adding. You’re in the room or on the call for a reason. They need you to do something that will make their project successful. 

Your voice – For many of us, when we’re in “helpful mode” or “friendly mode” we use a higher pitched voice. I call it my “phone voice.” Make an effort to stop using your phone voice and switch back to your regular voice. Try getting ready for a call or meeting by talking to someone you like first, tell a funny story or a joke. If no one is around, say it out loud to yourself. (If no one is around then no one will know that you’re talking to yourself!) 

Your words – You are hereby forbidden from apologizing more than once for anything that happens! This is the number one way to diminish your confidence, to over apologize. See this post “What to say instead of sorry” for what to say instead. 

The bottom line 

Confidence is a skill that everyone can build. 

My grandma used to say, “It doesn’t matter how you feel, it’s how you look that matters.”

I think about this when I’m feeling nervous because on the surface it’s pretty funny but underneath it captures an important truth: even when you’re nervous, you can control how you appear to others. 

Warmly,
Melissa 

P.S. You know the ONE THING that will sabotage your success? Your mindset. If you don’t believe that you deserve more, then you will never convince someone else that you do. 

Check out my class  Fearless Mindset: Increase your confidence so you can take the next step.

Check it out HERE. 

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