IN HER WORDS…HOW CONNECTOR CONVERSATIONS HELPED
“I WAS ABLE TO GET CLEAR ABOUT MY GOALS.”
I was trying to form a professional relationship with someone whose communication style was so different from my own that we were talking around each other rather than with each other. The relationship was so frustrating that I planned to turn down an otherwise incredible opportunity with the company to avoid having to work with this man.
“I CHANGED MY MIND-SET”
Melissa gave me the confidence and support I needed at the right moment. She gave me a mantra: ‘my perfect job is waiting for me’ and it was!
I have been happily employed for over 2 months now in a job I love!
Speaking to Melissa changed my mind-set to attract the perfect opportunity for ME.
“I INCREASED MY CONFIDENCE”
I had developed the habit of assuming what others wanted to hear and apologizing unnecessarily. Working with Melissa helped me to see how my over-apologizing was giving away my power and that I needed to not allow my fear of upsetting others to motivate me.
Now I remind myself to be mindful of my choices, and feel confident in what I am doing, without assuming where other people are coming from.
I learned to be curious, to ask rather than to jump to conclusions.
The roleplaying that we did was incredibly helpful as it prepared me for a challenging conversation with a colleague.
Working with Melissa increased my confidence and equipped me with strong communication skills to be more successful at work.
“HELPED ME THINK DIFFERENTLY”
Melissa helped me think differently about every conversation that I have at work. I feel more prepared for the negotiations I have every day with my peers, my clients, my boss and my team now.
“GAVE ME THE CONFIDENCE I NEEDED”
Melissa helped me realize that the gender bias in my corporate job wasn’t just ME being overly sensitive, and I wasn’t crazy for noticing the differences.
“HELPED ME PLAN FOR WHAT’S NEXT”
I was certain that I was ready for what was next in my work but I did not know exactly what that was. I had 8-years and a positive relationship with my boss that I wanted to keep whole as I was thinking about leaving.
Melissa helped me think through how to position that change with my boss so that she perceived my intention to move on as positive and I was able to keep that long term relationship intact.
Going into the conversation, I knew what the outcome was that I wanted but I needed to be purposeful in my approach and Melissa’s thoughtful questions and actively listening helped me get there.”
“I GOT CURIOUS INSTEAD OF CAVING IN”
Using the skills you taught me worked so well, and so easily, that it was almost unbelievable.
A long-standing client of mine asked me to change a certain way I communicated. Instead of getting defensive, or immediately caving in to their demands (a habit I’ve always had!), I followed what you taught me, took a deep breath, and got CURIOUS. I asked a question instead.
In the end my client told me, “Keep doing what you’ve always done!”
I am so grateful for the simplicity and efficacy of what you taught me; it’s made it possible for me to maintain my editorial (and personal!) integrity with this client, and empowered me to continue to use what you teach with my other clients. My next step is to ask my biggest client for a project increase: stay tuned!
“HELPED ME BUILD SKILLS”
Melissa helped me to build my skills through role plays and coaching. She’s extremely knowledgeable, wicked smart, engaging and authentic.
“ORGANIZED MY THOUGHTS”
Melissa helped me to organize my thoughts. She is so good at focusing the conversation and providing a way to communicate with confidence.
“…courage to ask for what we want in a way that feels good to us.”
This is an empowering and informative program that gives women the knowledge and strength and confidence and courage to ask for what we want in a way that feels good to us.
I took the class to support and empower myself in a career transition and to get more comfortable and ready for the interviewing and negotiating phase of a new job/career.
Now I don’t feel so alone in the way I have felt about confidence and asking for things in a new job situation.
“The skills that I learned in this class are things I can use right away.”
This class is my how-to guide for getting past my fear. Before, I could see my fear but I didn’t have the skills to work around it.
The skills that I learned in this class are things I can use right away to stop taking things personally, get my ideas across and to stop my mind going to negative assumptions.
I will set my goals higher and believe that I will achieve them. Instead of falling into my same old habits, I will walk down a different street* and not look back!
(*you’ll learn what walking down a different street means in Module 1!)
“I felt Confident after learning the skills”
“I got exactly what I asked for!”
I used your negotiation course and got exactly what I asked for.
“…it was obvious [Melissa] had years of expertise training on the topic of negotiations. ”
When Melissa presented recently at the VenturePad, it was obvious she had years of expertise training on the topic of negotiations. At the same time, the insights and tools she shared were fresh and easy to pick up. It was fun, engaging, and I’ve already used her approach to successfully navigate my toughest collaborative partnerships.
“Melissa is a dynamic, engaging and authentic speaker…”
“Her sessions are highly engaging and exciting!”
“Melissa worked with me and quickly became a trusted colleague.”
“[Melissa is]…a compelling speaker and facilitator.”
“Melissa… created a workshop for us that was exactly what we needed.”
As the leader of a fast growing company and diverse team, I asked Melissa to help us explore the value of our strengths and how we can communicate more effectively. Melissa listened to our challenges and created a workshop for us that was exactly what we needed. It was interactive and insightful without any fluff. She was able to draw out even our quietest team members in a way that felt inclusive. Even the most skeptical participants commented that it was worth the time and they learned something about themselves and their coworkers. I will definitely be bringing her back for additional skill building in the near future and recommending her to my peers.
“…this was the first time I walked away with tangible advice I could immediately use”
Melissa spoke to a group of women at our mBolden event in San Francisco. She did a fantastic job keeping the audience engaged the entire time. I have attended many talks on negotiation, yet this was the first time I walked away with tangible advice I could immediately use. I know the rest of the women in the room were equally motivated by Melissa, they were constantly asking questions and engaging with her throughout the workshop. She did a great job answering everyone’s questions, keeping the energy up, and the conversation going. I would highly recommend Melissa for any speaking event!
“Melissa brings warmth, expertise, and a genuine passion for helping people”
Melissa brings warmth, expertise, and a genuine passion for helping people to her negotiation workshops. I appreciated her conscientious approach and interest in understanding the situations attendees face every day in order to provide relevant information in a relatable way.
“If you have a chance to have Melissa speak for your event, don’t pass it up”
I could listen to and learn from Melissa all day long! She tells stories and shares examples that immediately resonate and captivate. There is no question that she is a deep expert in her field yet her style is so warm and approachable. If you have a chance to have Melissa speak for your event, don’t pass it up. You and your audience will be delighted by her!
“[Melissa] is an expert at navigating complex group dynamics to bring out a richness of information and strong participation”
Greatness in facilitation is an art and a practice. Melissa is supremely skilled at both. She is intentionally curious and dedicated to helping others share their points of view truthfully and respectfully. I have participated in a number of group discussions that Melissa has facilitated over the years, and so appreciate the way she draws people into conversations with her terrific questioning and listening skills. Her energy is engaging, warm and insightful, and she is an expert at navigating complex group dynamics to bring out a richness of information and strong participation. I highly recommend Melissa as a top notch facilitator.
“Melissa is an expert facilitator, teacher, coach, and consultant”
Melissa is an expert facilitator, teacher, coach, and consultant. She exemplifies mastery of her teaching material in the classroom and brings it to life through story telling and relatable examples. She uses the participant’s real world experiences to create a learning environment that is relevant and personal to her audience.
Melissa manages group and personality dynamics with ease, is tuned into the subtle dynamics of diverse classrooms, and ensures inclusivity by drawing even seemingly unwilling people into the shared experience. There is never a doubt that when Melissa is teaching she exceeds the clients expectations and, most importantly, her participants are provided with tools and knowledge that is immediately applicable to their real world.
“She wanted to make sure that the audience was engaged and was getting the most value out of her content”
I’ve had the pleasure to work with Melissa Hereford on two occasions and in each experience, I was impressed with Melissa’s professionalism as a speaker, trainer and coach. Melissa is as real as it gets and her authenticity truly comes out.
Melissa Hereford recently presented a live workshop on “Negotiating with Confidence” to our Advent Women’s group. Not only did Melissa deliver extremely valuable content to the workshop attendees, Melissa was exceptional at connecting with the audience before, during and after the event. She wanted to make sure that the audience was engaged and was getting the most value out of her content. She has great follow through. Even after the workshop was over, she reached out to group with additional resources.
HOW SHE USED THE SKILLS
- Gen was the only woman in her department and constantly being called, “honey” and “sweetheart.” She felt that if she spoke up, she’d be labeled the “b” word or worse, so she went home mad every day instead of speaking up. Gen learned how to change that dynamic. She learned what to say and how to say it so that she can ask for what she wants without being labeled negatively.
- Paula had fallen into the common habit of apologizing for everything at work. When a colleague asked her even a simple question, “Paula, what are you doing for this project?” she immediately went into apologizing mode, assuming that the colleague was asking because she had done something wrong, “I’m sorry, are you waiting for me to finish that?” She didn’t know why she did it or how to stop herself. She learned that apologizing was giving away her power and that powerless people are more likely to be scorned, creating a negative cycle. She learned how to reclaim her power and to replace apologies with clarifying questions.
- Kim was negotiating for a big new job. She had a sense of what she wanted but didn’t know how to structure her conversation to get it. Kim learned how to get clear about what she wanted and then how to uncover what’s important to the other person. She also learned how to clearly talk about why she was the best person for the job and she did it in a way that appealed directly to the person she was negotiating with.